The Importance of Personal Boundaries

The Importance of Personal Boundaries

There was once a time, not long ago, that I felt the need to give all of me to everyone else.

My thought process for most of my life was, “I can, so I will.”

This included giving away my time, doing things I didn’t love, saying yes to everything, accepting toxic people into my life, etc. Basically, I was always willing to refuel the tanks of others while neglecting my own.

Over the past year or so, I’ve grown in leaps and bounds all because I decided to take back my power.

When I began this journey of reclaiming my power, I learned that setting boundaries is key. Healthy boundaries allow us to not fall into the trap of society’s pressures which tell us that if we say no, we’re not a good [mother/father, wife/husband, friend, colleague].

Personal boundaries extend into many areas of life (physical, emotional, mental, sexual, spiritual, material), but the reason for setting them is to ultimately have safe and healthy relationships – both with yourself and with others.

I love Brene Brown’s definition of boundaries in her book, Rising Strong. She defines boundaries as “simply our lists of what’s okay and what’s not okay.”

I’m sharing a few (of many) personal boundaries I’ve embraced, that have literally been life changing.


Learning to Say No

How many times have you said yes to something then immediately regretted it? Better yet, how many times have you said yes because you couldn’t think of an excuse to say no? We often feel as if “no” needs a reason – as if saying “no” isn’t a complete sentence by itself. It’s often the guilt that comes along with the word, that pushes people into the “yes.”

One area I struggled with this, was in my business. It felt terrible to me when people would seek my aid for services I no longer offered or even for things I did/do offer, yet I had no true time to help them.

I fell into the trap of saying yes, then b*tching about the project the entire time I was doing it. Essentially, I set myself up for misery by saying yes.

Now that I’ve learned to say NO more, I use phrases such as: “My plate is full right now, but I’m happy to refer you to a trusted colleague who might be able to help,” or “I’d love to, but I’m already over committed. Thank you for thinking of me!”

These phrases still say no, but also don’t make me feel like a complete a-hole while saying them.

Share Information Gradually

I’ve noticed when I’m on the plane, people next to me often share things I don’t think they’ve shared with their spouse, let alone a friend. I’ve been guilty of this too – it’s almost as if opening up to a stranger can be easier because HEY… I’ll never see this person again, right?

Not everyone needs to know your biznass, your biznass (that’s business, for those of you who didn’t read that in Ludacris’ voice). Oversharing is part of not having boundaries. Oversharing too many details with people you’ve just met, exposes you to potential hurt or manipulation.

Protect yourself, open up to those who truly care for you and have your best interest at heart.


Not Everything Needs a Response

I was recently hit with an uncomfortable situation with a person I didn’t even know, who was attacking my character and my morals. I knew this person was projecting their own insecurities on me and if I gave any attention or energy into the situation, I would only fuel the fire.

Instead, I chose the high road. I ignored what was said and I went on about my day.

Had I engaged in a response I know I’d get fired up, say things I didn’t mean (which could ultimately come back to haunt me), and would exert all of that day’s energy into a person who didn’t deserve it. Thus, leaving me drained and unable to give my energy to the people who do deserve it.

Recognize when silence is a better option. Not everything needs a response.


Prioritize Self Care

If you tune into my podcast, you may remember my episode about self compassion and how the guilt of putting myself first, ultimately led me to putting my health at risk.

You know when boarding the plane they state to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others? That’s because it’s known that you cannot take care of anyone else, if you’re over there passing out from of lack of oxygen.

I’m very humanitarian driven, so to me, prioritizing myself felt selfish.

But guess what?!

Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s imperative

Now, I take time to do things that I love; I’ve recognized when my tank is full, I’m happier and I’m a nicer person which makes me feel more equipped to serve. Also, my energy also doesn’t deplete as quick

Bubble baths and face masks are both sure fire ways to relax me.
I love taking drives in my car while blasting music and singing at the top of my lungs, always makes me smile.
Getting out in nature and exploring a place I’ve never seen before humbles me. Being alone in silence, even for 10 minutes, mentally recharges me.

I recognize when I need more self care and I’ve dropped the guilt that comes along with it. 



Setting Boundaries, Brene Brown


The boundaries I outlined may seem elementary but as Matt Bevin said, “the ripple effects of small things is extraordinary.

Take some time to think about the boundaries in your life; are you aware of them, or are you lacking them?

To Your Growth,

5 Things Entrepreneurs Should Invest In

5 Things Entrepreneurs Should Invest In

Start up and long time business owners alike, can often times neglect simple investments that can heighten their business without breaking the bank.

It’s easy to hear the term “investment” and automatically think of bonds, stocks, shares, etc. Sure, these are extremely valuable things for anyone to invest in but these 5 things will help you AND your business grow:

Social Media Marketing: New customers won’t come knocking if they don’t even know you exist. You have to get in front of your audience; being visible is one of the most simple ways to create buzz about your business. Develop a social media presence to connect with your target audience!

Professional Headshots: Sure you could grab a selfie stick and attempt to do it yourself; or you could invest in professional photos that align with your branding and demonstrate your professionalism. Your photos can be used on social media, your website, marketing collateral, and more. People study faces and you can’t take back a first impression; make sure your photos are of quality and represent you and your business in the truest form.

Mentorship / Certifications / Expert Learning: Learning doesn’t always have to come at a high price. Many times, you can connect with an experienced mentor to be your go-to for all things business related.. or you could also hire a coach to help grow your business and work directly with you.

If you hold a certification in a certain area, you can use it to leverage your expertise over competitors. Not all certifications are costly, in fact, some are free but do require 15+ hours of training plus an exam. Be sure to research certifications in your field!

Enhance your knowledge and learn from experts! Attending seminars and workshops are great, but you don’t even have to leave your home or office to keep up to date with industry experts. Read their books, listen to podcasts, read blogs, watch vlogs – it doesn’t matter how you learn as long as you continue to learn.

Technology: You need to keep your technology up to date. This year I invested over 3k in technology, and it has paid itself within 3 months. Don’t let the price tag of a piece of an expensive piece of technology or equipment detour you from purchasing it. Think about the value it could bring to your business; will it make your job easier? Will it help you produce better results for clients? If you answered yes to those questions, then it’s time you stop letting the price tag be your excuse.

R & R: Ahhh, rest and relaxation. If you’re not getting enough sleep or not taking personal time off to relax and devote to yourself,family,friends – you’re skimping on the BEST and EASIEST investment you can make for yourself and your business. Aim for a full night of sleep to optimize your performance and focus daily. Don’t think you have the time for a vacation or to take time off? Wrong. What you don’t have time for is a complete and utter burn out. Take care of yourself, it’ll pay off.

Painless and simple enough, right? Investing in both yourself and your business will be profitable; stop making excuses and just do it!

If you want to invest in something with minimal risk and guaranteed return, invest in yourself.

To your growth,