Mind Archives - Lauren Smith

The Importance of Personal Boundaries

Mar 7, 2019 | Life, Mind

There was once a time, not long ago, that I felt the need to give all of me to everyone else.

My thought process for most of my life was, “I can, so I will.”

This included giving away my time, doing things I didn’t love, saying yes to everything, accepting toxic people into my life, etc. Basically, I was always willing to refuel the tanks of others while neglecting my own.

Over the past year or so, I’ve grown in leaps and bounds all because I decided to take back my power.

When I began this journey of reclaiming my power, I learned that setting boundaries is key. Healthy boundaries allow us to not fall into the trap of society’s pressures which tell us that if we say no, we’re not a good [mother/father, wife/husband, friend, colleague].

Personal boundaries extend into many areas of life (physical, emotional, mental, sexual, spiritual, material), but the reason for setting them is to ultimately have safe and healthy relationships – both with yourself and with others.

I love Brene Brown’s definition of boundaries in her book, Rising Strong. She defines boundaries as “simply our lists of what’s okay and what’s not okay.”

I’m sharing a few (of many) personal boundaries I’ve embraced, that have literally been life changing.

Learning to Say No

How many times have you said yes to something then immediately regretted it? Better yet, how many times have you said yes because you couldn’t think of an excuse to say no? We often feel as if “no” needs a reason – as if saying “no” isn’t a complete sentence by itself. It’s often the guilt that comes along with the word, that pushes people into the “yes.”

One area I struggled with this, was in my business. It felt terrible to me when people would seek my aid for services I no longer offered or even for things I did/do offer, yet I had no true time to help them.

I fell into the trap of saying yes, then b*tching about the project the entire time I was doing it. Essentially, I set myself up for misery by saying yes.

Now that I’ve learned to say NO more, I use phrases such as: “My plate is full right now, but I’m happy to refer you to a trusted colleague who might be able to help,” or “I’d love to, but I’m already over committed. Thank you for thinking of me!”

These phrases still say no, but also don’t make me feel like a complete a-hole while saying them.

Share Information Gradually

I’ve noticed when I’m on the plane, people next to me often share things I don’t think they’ve shared with their spouse, let alone a friend. I’ve been guilty of this too – it’s almost as if opening up to a stranger can be easier because HEY… I’ll never see this person again, right?

Not everyone needs to know your biznass, your biznass (that’s business, for those of you who didn’t read that in Ludacris’ voice). Oversharing is part of not having boundaries. Oversharing too many details with people you’ve just met, exposes you to potential hurt or manipulation.

Protect yourself, open up to those who truly care for you and have your best interest at heart.

Not Everything Needs a Response

I was recently hit with an uncomfortable situation with a person I didn’t even know, who was attacking my character and my morals. I knew this person was projecting their own insecurities on me and if I gave any attention or energy into the situation, I would only fuel the fire.

Instead, I chose the high road. I ignored what was said and I went on about my day.

Had I engaged in a response I know I’d get fired up, say things I didn’t mean (which could ultimately come back to haunt me), and would exert all of that day’s energy into a person who didn’t deserve it. Thus, leaving me drained and unable to give my energy to the people who do deserve it.

Recognize when silence is a better option. Not everything needs a response.

Prioritize Self Care

If you tune into my podcast, you may remember my episode about self compassion and how the guilt of putting myself first, ultimately led me to putting my health at risk.

You know when boarding the plane they state to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others? That’s because it’s known that you cannot take care of anyone else, if you’re over there passing out from of lack of oxygen.

I’m very humanitarian driven, so to me, prioritizing myself felt selfish.

But guess what?!

Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s imperative

Now, I take time to do things that I love; I’ve recognized when my tank is full, I’m happier and I’m a nicer person which makes me feel more equipped to serve. Also, my energy also doesn’t deplete as quick

Bubble baths and face masks are both sure fire ways to relax me.
I love taking drives in my car while blasting music and singing at the top of my lungs, always makes me smile.
Getting out in nature and exploring a place I’ve never seen before humbles me. Being alone in silence, even for 10 minutes, mentally recharges me.

I recognize when I need more self care and I’ve dropped the guilt that comes along with it.

Setting Boundaries, Brene Brown

The boundaries I outlined may seem elementary but as Matt Bevin said, “the ripple effects of small things is extraordinary.

Take some time to think about the boundaries in your life; are you aware of them, or are you lacking them?

To Your Growth,
Lauren

The Most Powerful Type of Momentum

Dec 3, 2018 | Life, Mind

Momentum: the force that keeps an object moving or keeps an event developing after it has started.

Some days, it’s really tough to humbly receive acknowledgement and praise, while you’re working for nearly free.

When I started my podcast, I didn’t realize how much time I would end up devoting to it. I thought it’d be something where I could pick up my mic, talk to someone, publish it on the interwebs and call it a day.

It’s become so much more than that. To date, the podcast is being listened to in 15 countries and 33 states. I receive messages daily, both from people I’ve known for years as well as complete strangers, who tell me they love what I’m doing, or that an episode’s message resonated with them.

These words, they fuel me to continue to put the time into publishing the show, but to be 100% transparent – I’m not making any money off the show. The 15-20 hours I put into the show weekly – from setting up calls, finding guests, scheduling the conversations, having the actual conversation, recording intros/outros, editing episodes, writing episode notes, etc. – those 20 hours give me purpose, but they don’t feed my family.

Not *yet* anyway…

So, why do I keep doing something, that isn’t providing a financial return?

I heard on the news recently, that a man won the lottery for $638 Million. This man, has been playing the same lottery numbers every week, for 20 years. Yes, you read that correct. Same numbers, weekly, for 20 freaking years. All it took, was that *one* draw to make him a multi-millionaire.

Mastin Kipp, the author behind TheDailyLove.com, stated on an Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations, that his entire life fell apart in one week. His relationship fell apart, investors pulled out of his business due to the recession, his roommate gave him 3 day’s notice, he had gout in his foot, AND he and his business partner split ways. All in ONE week.

At this time in his life, it had taken him one year to gain even 1,000 followers on his social media, so it’s not that he was big or famous; but he said he felt that this was his calling. Within a month of his life seemingly falling apart, Kim Kardashian tweeted about The Daily Love to her 1 million followers, and encouraged them to follow his account. He went from 1,000 followers to 10,000, overnight.

Now, Mastin is widely known travels the world on a mission to inspire and motivate.

What did these two people, who I’ve never met, prove?

Momentum fueled by persistence, is an unstoppable force.

Persistence, is a type of momentum that has a force like no other.

It’s only when we stop trying that we lose any chance of reaching those big goals, milestones, achievements, or levels of mastery.

I know the Master Your Mind, Business and Life podcast will generate opportunities that I’ve dreamed of and work towards – but only through my persistence.

I’ll keep chasing my big dreams – you keep chasing yours.

Through persistence, we’ll both be rewarded in ways we’ve been dreaming about and relentlessly hustling towards.

To Our Growth,
Lauren

Master Your Mind, Business, and Life – THE PODCAST!

Aug 22, 2018 | Business, Life, Mind

Stories.

They connect us all.

A simple story can bridge the gap between stranger and friend. It can bring perspective, clarity, and even advice. A story has as much power to make us weep, as it does to make us joyful.

Through life, we learn through the stories we create, as well as the stories we hear.

As a natural story lover, I felt the next project in life should be one that revolves around others who have a story or message to share.

Today, I launch the Master Your Mind, Business, and Life podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, and Podbean .

The goal of the Master Your Mind, Business and Life podcast is to have real, authentic, conversations with every day world shifters, truth seekers, and rule breakers.

I want you, the listener, to walk away from every episode with information that will help you push past boundaries, shift your mindset, implement profitable strategies, turn your purpose into your paycheck, and begin living with intention.

Topics we’ll explore in the MIND category, we’ll meet with experts in mindfulness, meditation, neuroscience,and psychology – and also dive into topics such as improving your memory, intuition vs. ego, and more.

When we’re talking about BUSINESS, we’ll being getting down to the nitty gritty about all things that make a business tick. From strategy, finances, and social media, to topics like becoming a better leader, growing your brand, and how to become more productive within your business.

And LIFE – well life is a little bit of everything. We’ve got health, fitness, relationships, personal growth, spirituality, numerology, social movements, stories of overcoming adversity and SO. MUCH. MORE.

So join me in the podcast realm, and listen to this week’s episode: Growth Through Failure

You can also subscribe to podcast episodes + read show notes on the podcast website: mindbizlife.com

Until next week,

Lauren

Mindful Approach to Reducing Stress

Apr 26, 2018 | Mind

I’ve always been a little anxious. I shake my leg at speeds that can shake a car when I’m nervous, stressed, feel bad energy (or even if I’m bored). It’s a involuntary reaction that I often don’t notice I’m doing until someone asks me to stop. Along with my anxiousness, comes stress.

Through the past few years, I’ve grown to become more mindful. Mindful in the way I talk to myself, the way I speak to others, the way I act when I’m following my ego instead of intuition, and of course, identifying things that stress me to my breaking point.

What triggers our stress is completely different than the techniques we use to cope with stress.

Stress, for me, is triggered by numerous things but usually comes down to either having to make a big decision or having too much on my plate to handle. I can physically reduce my stress by saying no to things, managing my time better, and not putting so much pressure on “big” decisions. But, that’s often easier said than done, right?

We can reduce the emotion of stress that we feel in the moment, by bringing mindfulness into play.

Here’s how:

1. Don’t Immediately React. Take a second to pause, think, and absorb the information you obtained. Remember that your reaction, is an action you own; be sure it’s the reaction you truly want to express.

2. Remember Emotions aren’t Facts. How we feel about something does not make it fact. Recognize your feelings and allow yourself to experience them, all while remember that we produce our own emotions to scenarios.

3. Write it Out. Sometimes we want to say things, but know in fact we shouldn’t. Often times if we’re upset and spew the first thoughts on our mind, it’s likely hurtful. Write out your emotions to get them off your chest; you’ll physically feel as if a weight as been lifted.

4.Mindful Breathing Yogi’s know that the breath connects us and allows us to slow down; it’s an easy practice that simply requires you to focus your attention on the inhale and exhale of your breath. While the practice itself is easy, keeping your attention on your breath can be difficult. If you find yourself slipping away and thinking of something other than your breath, bring your attention back.

Mindfulness is not an elimination of stress, but more of the awareness of your thoughts. Since thoughts provoke emotion, we’re often able to change how we think or feel about a situation, simply by being more mindful.

Don’t think mindfulness helps you cope with stress? Here’s an excerpt from the Harvard Business Review:

“The benefits of mindfulness meditation for business leaders are increasingly appreciated and confirmed by empirical research. Executives and high performing professionals increasingly use meditation to manage stress, maintain strategic focus, enhance cognitive performance, promote emotional intelligence, and improve interpersonal relationships.”

Next time you’re feeling stressed – identify what’s causing the stress, then mindfully center yourself by using the above techniques.

If you’re having a hard time slowing your mind down or thinking more positive – check out my book, “Mind Love”. It’s full of bite-sized thought nuggets to fuel your life!

With Love,
L.